Parenting in the Real World: Timing/Spacing Children

When I was a MOPS mentor, from time to time a mom would ask me about the best timing or spacing for the next child. I always though this was an odd question. I grew up in a family of eight and except for my youngest sibling; we are all 11 to 12 months apart. You read correctly, 11 to 12 months. Having a baby every year was standard practice in my home. We all liked babies. Unfortunately, babies grow up and become siblings. We were not all fond of each other all the time growing up. Fortunately, siblings grow up to be adults. Now we all like each other and get along remarkably well. Since we will be adults a lot longer then we were kids, our parent’s “timing” worked out well in the long run.

My four kids are 2 ½ years, 18 months and 4years between one child and the next.

My kids are “timed” all over the place. The two that were 18 months apart were good friends for years. Now that the older 3 are in their late teens and early 20s, they get along quite well. The 13-year-old still has the potential for driving her sibling crazy and she still enjoys living up to her potential.

In term of timing children the only advice I have is to try make sure your child will not turn 18 during his/her senior year of high school. You will save yourself having to listen to” I am legal now and can do what I want. You are not the boss of me. “

It is amusing to listen to this assertion being stated with perfect sincerity and legal justification by a person who still expects to receive food, clothing, shelter and all other thing American teens firmly believe they are entitled to and their parents should provide.

Unless it is your kid saying it.

Comments

[Tracey]

My 5 children are about 2 1/2 - 3 years apart. That worked out nice for us because that way I didn't have 2 in diapers for very long. :o) 12 kids in your family, how cool!

Yeah, babies grow up to be siblings...my oldest daughter to attest to that statement! She loves when I have a baby...but goes nuts when they get older and drive her nuts!

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[Sylvia]

We have 2 sets: a practice set of kids who are now 21 and 19 and then our 11 and 7 year olds, who should benefit immensely from our previous training as parents with the practice set! Practice sets of kids give you lots of advantages....

[Kim]

My oldest is nine years older than my middle child. There is only two years and a day between my two youngest children. So my timing was all over the place. lol Having the oldest one was great for a babysitter when he got older. Having the other two so close together is pretty good except they FIGHT A LOT!

[Heidi]

Kind of like that "I am a adult" scream followed by the stomping of feet, slamming of doors. Little irony never hurt anyone, huh?

[Cindy]

My older brother and sister are 23 months apart, and I arrived five years later. They were always pretty close, but I felt more like an only child.

My own boys are all 3 1/2 years apart, but we didn't plan it that way. It seems like a good spacing, though. I've never had two in diapers at once, but they're close enough in age that they enjoy playing together.