Getting From Here to There: The Elements of Character Training Part 1b: Teaching Older Children

Character training = Teaching + Discipline + Praise + Consequences

Teaching is all methods of communicating to your child what you desire them to do and why you desire them to do it. The what and the why are equally important. Teaching consistent of but not limited to oral instruction, demonstrating, visual clues and /or working with your child. Equally important, mention why you do what you do.

The goal of teaching younger children is to break down tasks related to character traits you are developing so they can succeed. The example I used was putting the diaper in the garbage. I did this with my kids; it was am easy place for me to start responsibility training. With little ones, the focus is on teaching, discipline and praise. Consequences come into play with older children. (See here for definitions of all elements)

The goal for older children is both mastery of the task and hopefully internalizing the character trait you are trying to develop in your child. The reason you have for doing something or being a certain kind of person is vitally as you seek to develop character in your child.

Being creative in teaching and discipline, appropriated praise and consistent consequences and prayer are a parents best tools in character training.

You still want to break a task down to simple steps so your child can succeed.

For example: Cleaning his own bedroom is a common chore that is very handy for developing character in a child. A 5 year old if given a few specific tasks at a time can pick up his room. "Joe you are going to clean this room. You are blessed with all this stuff, how cool is that. So pick up your books and shoes first."

Over time, a child can be taught how to clean her own bedroom. Over time, you can use the process of cleaning to help your child mature in various character traits: responsibility, diligence, commitment to family, helpfulness, thoughtfulness. 

Here are some sites that have specific steps for you to think through and use if you desire:

Teaching Your Child To Clean

Cleaning Your Childs bedroom the Fun Way

It’s Clean Up Time

Again talking to your child about why you do what you do is primary in developing character of the heart. If your goal is a clean room, teaching a child how to clean will suffice. If you goal is using common household tasks as tools to develop character, you have to explain and have your child eventual explain back, the why of what you are doing. Sally, why do you have to keep your room clean?

How would your child answer that question? Cleaning a bedroom matters for today. How you child answers that question over time can be useful to you in shaping her future as an adult.