Aging with Silliness: My Favorite Jokes

It is the weekend before Thanksgiving and I am too busy to think…so…

In the interest of full disclosure... I was a natural blonde at one time. My hairdresser says I  could be again if I wanted to be.

What did the blond say when he opened the Cheerio box?

Oh look…donut seeds.

A blond, a brunette and a red head were looking at a magic mirror. If you spoke the truth the mirror would grant you one wish. However…If you spoke a lie, you disappeared.

The brunette when first. “I think I am smart,” she said and the mirror granted her a wish.

Encouraged the red head went second. “I think I am smarter than the brunette” Poof she disappeared.

A little daunted the blond decided to comment on her looks instead of her brains. She said,” I think”. Poof

Do you have a very clean joke you would like to share?

Comments

[Leanne]

Here's my Thanksgiving joke for you...

Q. What did the turkey say to the computer?

A. Google, google, google.

:)

[Robin]

A bachelor who lived at home with his mother and pet cat went on a trip to Europe.
Before he left he told his best friend to inform him of any emergencies.
A few days after his departure, his cat climbed up on the roof, fell off and was killed. His friend immediately wired him with the message: "Your cat's dead"
In a few hours he was back home, having cut short his trip in grief and anger at his friend, whom he told "HOW COULD YOU? Why didn't you break the news to me gradually? You know how close I was to my cat! You could have sent a message 'Your cat climbed up on the roof today', and the next day you could've written, 'Your cat fell off the roof' and let me down slowly that he died."
After a quick memorial service, the bachelor left again to continue his trip. A few days later he returned to his hotel and there was a message waiting for him from his friend. It read, "Your mother is up on the roof."

[Carol Taber]

Leanne, Thank you . My family loved your joke.

Robin, Thank you for another joke to share. I think this is my new favorite.

[Cindy]

Those are all very funny! Here's my contribution:

Three women--an American, a Frenchwoman, and an Italian--were discussing how their husbands weren't usually much help around the house.

The American complained, "My husband will never put his dirty clothes in the hamper. I'm always picking up socks and shirts...ah! I got so tired of it that I decided to just stop picking up any of his dirty things. Well, the first day I saw nothing. The second day, again I saw nothing, but the third day...he picked up all his clothes and did two loads of laundry!"

The Frenchwoman went next. "I couldn't get my husband to help with the dishes. Every night I'd cook dinner, we'd BOTH eat, and then he'd leave me to wash the dishes by myself. I finally told him, 'No more!' The first day, I saw nothing. The second day, I saw nothing. The third day, he washed every dish in the house!"

Then it was the Italian's turn. "My husband, he never would take out the garbage. Always me, day after day, take out the trash, put in a new bag. Why couldn't he help just a little? So one day I told him I wasn't going to do it anymore. He could take the trash out or it could just stay in the house. Well, the first day I saw nothing. The second day, I saw nothing. The third day, I could open my eyes a little bit..."

[Carol]

So, two blondes walk into a building…
You’d think at least one of them would have seen it. (ouch. okay.)

Seriously, though - The Smile Award awaits you over at She Lives. Love your blog.

[ang]

Having a teenage son who is of driving age I got a chuckle out of this:

A young boy had just
gotten his driving permit.
He asked his father,
who was a minister,
if they could discuss his use
of the family car.

His father said to him,
"I'll make a deal with you.
You bring your grades up,
study your bible a little,
and get your hair cut,
then we will talk about it."

A month later the boy came back
and again asked his father if
they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said, "Son,
I'm real proud of you.
You have brought your grades up,
you've studied your bible diligently,
but you didn't get a hair cut!"

The young man waited a moment
and replied, "You know dad,
I've been thinking about that.
You know Samson had long hair,
Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair,
and even Jesus had long hair."

His father replied,
"Yes son,
and they walked everywhere they went!"