Aging with Grace: 4, Now 3 Perhaps 2, Then 1, Then What?
Friday, December 19, 2008 at 12:00AM My oldest is not coming home for Christmas this year. This is the first time all the kids will not be at our home for the holiday but most likely, it is not the last.
Even though I had all year to prepare, I am just not ready. Haggai started his youth pastor position last year. His boss was a little surprised Haggai was hoping to fly to visit family just four short months after getting started. It turns out that from Christmas to New Years is a busy time for many pastors...who knew?
His boss knows me and he knew I was not ready for a Christmas without my 20-year-old baby. (Of course they are no longer babies, but all four of them will always be my babies). Haggi came home for Christmas and I bless his boss’ kindness to this day.
However he is not coming home this year. It is not as if we are out of touch. Cell phones are a blessing to moms with far-flung kids. I still remember what he looks like so all is good.
It’s just he won’t be here. My daughter works in a restaurant. I anxiously asked if the restaurant was open on Thanksgiving or on Christmas. Fortunately it is closed both days. I just could not face having two kids missing from the holiday dinner this year. One is hard enough.
However that day will come…one is gone, then some day two, perhaps three, than one day all four. It is too sad to even think about.
I already told my husband, the first Christmas all the kids are gone, I am flying to Europe for the holiday and he is welcome to come with me.
In the mean time, I just know I will boohoo every time I hear “I’ll Be Home for Christmas”.
I better put some tissues with the Ben-Gay and lipstick in my purse.
How did you cope the first time a child didn’t come home for the holidays? When did you stop feeling so sad?
View Printer Friendly Version
Reader Comments (11)
My oldest son will not be home this year for Christmas either. This is our second Christmas without him. So...I feel your pain.
I know that is just around the corner for us, but I also know that doesn't mean I'll be prepared....what part of Europe?!
Yikes! I have no idea, but I'd be boo hoo'ing too. Thanks for the reminder to enjoy them all I can this year!
it's very hard the first time your kids aren't there for the holidays. Since mine moved out 4 years ago, they haven't been able to come back home. They all live so far away. Our holidays are very lonely and we usually invite those without family nearby to join us for the celebration.
Check out my blog as I left you an award.
Many blessings
Robin
My older son moved cross country this past summer for a job. He hasn't been home yet. We decided though that instead of him flying in for Thanksgiving as originally planned, that it would be better if he came in for Christmas week. As much as we missed him on Thanksgiving, that is only a one day holiday and a short vacation. Now he'll be in for Christmas until New Years weekend. I like this better.
It will be hard, though, when we aren't together for birthdays and other holidays but I guess I'll have to get used to it. My younger son is in college so he still comes home for every holiday and full summers.
Kim, It is sad isn't it? I never really though this day would come.
Sylvia, I'm thinking pretty like Germany . Maybe some place warm would be better?
Leanne, Hug then a lot too!
Robin, What a great way to turn something sad into a blessing. Thank you for the award. I am honored
Jennifer, Enjoy having both your boys home at the same time!
5 years ago, this would have seemed like such a distant future to me. It still is obviously, but I can't believe how fast my child made it to 5. I imagine it will continue to progress just as quickly.
This is a good reminder to me to cherish all these moments while they're little, even in their chaos, because it does fly by.
Just know that after a handful of years, they'll all be back, bringing the pitter patter of little feet with them.
Hello! You've been tagged! Check out my post:http://newyorkchica.com/2008/12/ive-been-tagged-2/
Hope you enjoy and hope you have a Happy Holidays.
Hi,
I wish you Yuletide Joy and A Blessed New Year together with your family.
Happy Holidays!
The first time I was without one of my sons was when the eldest was working in Kuwait, a good few years ago. I had it all worked out that we would contact him by email on Christmas day, a normal working day there, and each member of the family including grandparents would have a message prepared. Then, very early on Christmas Eve, the doorbell rang, and there he was standing on the doorstep. I burst into tears, having been so brave up till then.
This year is the first that all of the grandparents are no longer with us, and sons live so far away. I was quite looking forward to having a very low key Christmas on our own, but this time second son changed my plans. He and his French wife are coming to stay so that she can experience a traditional British Christmas (what is that?). I should count myself lucky to have had the two weeks notice that I did have. Panic is about to set in.
My son unexpectedly came home this year when I thought he wasn't going to, so that was a nice surprise. He's twenty-two so I know that first time is just around the corner. I think leaving home, whether to Europe or elsewhere, is the ticket! No reason to sit around the house and mope. Better to be in a completely different environment.