The Other Woman

It is the way of the world...the oldest of betrayals...the other woman…in our son’s life. There has to come a time when a son transfers his allegiance to another. One with a different vision for his life, for his time, his future, and the length of his hair. One that must, and should, in the normal flow of life, replace that of his parents. He and his lady friend evidently think the appropriate age for this transfer of loyalty is sixteen. I am thinking…no.

I am willing to concede the hair length issue to her. I have to admit that he dresses better and showers more often now that the other woman has entered the picture. For a while there, he was even cleaning his room regularly, but as time has gone by, he has reverted to his sloppy ways. He has developed a greater willingness to watch Gilmore Girls reruns with his sisters and me. We think it is because of all the chick flicks he watches to please his girlfriend. He will not watch Hanna Montana with the rest of us, even to please her.

We see less of him. Family times are now being planned around the schedule of someone who we did not know existed just twenty-two short months ago. Rules that conflict with their desires (particularly in the area of how late one may stay on the phone on a school night when you are pulling C’s in school, or the requirement to go to church and not the movies Sunday night ) are relegated to the level of “unreasonable parental control.”

She asked him to her prom, and then informed him that boys pay for the tickets. They think we are unreasonable balking at picking up the tab for an $80 plus night on the town. I would find their united front that he should pay, and we should “help” highly amusing, if…it was someone else’s kid. If they should marry and have a child, I am buying that future grandchild a drum set for its 4^th birthday.

The battle between mother and girlfriend is as old as time. I have a wonderful mother-in-law, so I was not on the girlfriend side of the conflict. I am surprised to be on the mother side.

After all, these conflicts are minor skirmishes, not an out and out war. Our son is underage and living in our home, as far as bids for independence, so this is not so bad. These types of conflicts will melt away with the passage of time.

In all honesty, I like the other woman in my son’s life quite a bit. I wish they had met 6 years from now; however, I accept I am not in control of the universe. Or the length if his hair.

Comments

[Janice]

It's a relief to know things get better, My son's room looks like ground zero. He's twelve(nearly) I'm dreading the other woman thing but it's meant to be that way.