Book Review: 60 0n Up

My 83-year-old mother-in-law is quivering with rage. Uninvited, into her apartment, walked her daughter-in-law, a phone call to her son, and then against her will, we arrange a doctor’s appointment for her the next day. My father-in-law is limp with relief. He knows something isn’t right with his wife but he doesn’t know what to do about it. My 90-pound soaking wet, mother-in-law is still sitting on her couch literally vibrating with anger. I try some small talk to defuse the situation, but it is obvious they both want me to leave. Bless her heart; I know she is capable of giving her husband a very hard time, which will not start until I leave. Dad assured me he will all right. Living into you 80’s and 90’s is not for sissies.

I didn’t like 60 on Up: The Truth about Aging in America the first time I read it. I though it was a cup half empty book, focusing on the down side of living longer. My father just won a gin tournament (cards not drinking) at 82 against “younger guys”. He still travels back and forth between New York and Florida and plays golf twice a week. He reads a lot and knows how to use his coffeemaker. Honestly, he could be an AARP poster boy.

My husband read the book and though it insightful. He pointed out that 80 year olds, the people with the authority of experience, write few books about the topic of aging. The author, Lillian B. Rubin , Ph.D. is 83. After a final look at my mother-in-law so angry with me she would not say good-bye as I left her apartment, I reread  60 on Up from a different perspective.

Dr. Rubin writes with statistics backed by experience about aging. It seems older people live with a lot of fear. Fear of not being useful, of running out of money, of out living friends, family, their own children. They fear lose of control over their lives and decisions.

My mother-in-laws fears were justified. In I walked; her daughter–in-law who, who in the thirty years we have known each other, has never overruled any decision she has made concerning her health. Or any other personal decision for that matter. The fact that her medicine left her incapable of making the best decision and she needed my help, didn’t change the fact I overruled her.

60 on Up is a warning to those of us entering our 50’s. We already know that it is past time to start making financial provision for old age, so get moving. Dr Rubin explains there more too entering our retirement years than a good retirement plan. Now is the time to start developing interest and skills, ties to community and family, especially ties outside the work place, which will equip us to do more than play golf every day. Having a purpose in life is what makes life after retirement a valuable, interesting time.

Now is time to think and plan for the third phase of life. 60 on Up gives the reader much to consider.