Parenting Teenagers: Getting Them Out the Door
Friday, June 20, 2008 at 10:23AM My younger two are packing to leave for World Changers tomorrow. In theory, they are packing. In reality one is off serving at Runners Camp and the other is in bed. I meanwhile am still doing wash, checking lists, and will make at least one more run to the store and another to the bank.
I have told them all week to get their clothes in the wash so I can get the wash done. All week they have seemed to hear….blah, blah, blah…..and reply” Yes mom”. All week I have said," I need a list of thing you need from the store". Again, they seem to hear….blah, blah blah …and reply “Yes mom”. All week I have said, “You can’t make any plans for Friday until you are packed and your room is clean.” This seems to have translated in the older one’s brain to: I can stay up all night, sleep late, do nothing unless she yells, than I can complain about the yelling, and still do nothing, because she is going to get me to the church on time tomorrow come snow or high water.
I know what some of you are thinking, don’t do anything; let them suffer the consequences of not being prepared for their mission trip. That is a great idea in theory (not unlike the theory that the kids should be responsible to pack in the first place). The reality is if they aren't properly packed, the consequences transfer not to the kids but to the adults in charge is at the World Changers project.
I could not let them go. As a wise parent I have endured hardship myself in order to discipline a child from time to time. As parents of teens know, banning your child from either some form of inter-teen communication or electronic entertainment or from stepping foot outside the house (otherwise known as grounding) for the sake of developing your child’s character in the face of their irresponsibility is a self imposed form suffering that must be endured for the sake of the child. In this situation I am not that noble a parent….they are going…I am packing for them.
I am very grateful they each have a heart that is willing to serve others for Jesus' sake. It will be a physically and spiritually demanding week for both of my kids, so I will be glad I made sure they were properly prepared. But for right now, I am hoping that someday way future they each are blessed with a set of triplets .
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Reader Comments (5)
lol! i can totally sympathize and agree with you. there are just some instances where moms just have to fore go the "disciplining" and just do the tasks themselves for their kids in order to avoid more "trouble" or complications.
"I could not let them go. As a wise parent I have endured hardship myself in order to discipline a child from time to time. As parents of teens know, banning your child from either some form of inter-teen communication or electronic entertainment or from stepping foot outside the house (otherwise known as grounding) for the sake of developing your child’s character in the face of their irresponsibility is a self imposed form suffering that must be endured for the sake of the child. In this situation I am not that noble a parent….they are going…I am packing for them."
I love this paragraph. You said this so well! I've never fully understood why parents ground their kids from something that negatively impacts OTHER people. For example, we've had kids not show up for something at an activity because they didn't clean their rooms--but this affects the whole activity, perhaps even the cost for others, not just the kid.Anyway, great post.
Very funny! (Or at least, maybe it'll be funny to you in a few years.) One of the thoughts I had when reading this, though, was that it is likely that your kids don't actually _want_ to do this camp-thing. If they really wanted to do it I would think they would have packed long ago. So that would lead me to cancel the trip. However, it seems as if this particular trip is something that you firmly believe in them doing, so in that case, I guess the onus is on you to help get them to it. Hang in there!
I understand completely. There are times where a punishment you may use on your teenagers isn't appropriate as it affects others. I grounded my 14 year old. However, I cannot pull him from his soccer team (just for a couple of weeks) as they are so short of players, the people affected the most by his grounding, would be the other kids in the team.
It can be hard.
I find parenting teenagers as challenging and interesting as parenting toddlers.