Parenting Teenagers: Unexpected Advantages to Homeschooling Middle School
Wednesday, July 9, 2008 at 11:01AM My children were/are homeschooled for middle school. We sent them to public school until 4th or 5th grade and then brought them home through 8th grade. Then off to high school they went!
One of the unanticipated advantages of this decision was it extended our children’s childhoods. It is my observation that homeschooled middle schoolers are not as culturally aware as their public school counterparts are. It is also my firm belief that this is not necessarily bad thing. Do twelve year olds really need sexy music? Really? Is it in their best interest to have to deal with peer pressure to smoke, shoplift or engage in the games of having a boy or girl friend or grade pressures? Some of our family members though we sheltered our kids too much. They were concerned our kids would be ready for the pressures of high school.
That was not what happened. First off, our children got to stay kids awhile longer. Toys and video games and books and movies, playing in as opposed to hanging out in the park, were more important that attracting the opposite sex and not knowing what to do with them. Yeah, we regulated their entertainment options pointing out the basis for our decisions. Not that they always appreciated our efforts and yes they missed some “must see” movies and “had to play” video games. Not playing Grand Thief Auto at 12 or 13 doesn’t seem to have destroyed their childhood.
They did get to hang out with mom, serving where I served at Bible Study and MOPS. They worked with other adults during those years of ministry. While they didn’t always know the street talk of their peers, they did learn how to work and talk with adults. Their ministry work mattered in a real way, to real people. In high school, they each found a place of ministry apart from their dad and me.
The transition to high school was very hard for my oldest. He kindly smoothed the way for his sister and she, for their younger brother. We did find that contrary to other’s fears, our kids were better able to deal with the temptations of public high school. They grew spiritually in middle school through working with adults who took faith seriously. Working with other adults in the children’s programs at Bible Study and later at MOPS was one of those valuable life lessons you just can’t plan for as a parent.
Plus they had or are having ball. Those homeschool years taught them how to have fun without drugs or beer or a lot of money and they carried those skills with them into high school.
Since our homeschool materials were mostly self-teaching, our kids learned they could figure things out for them selves using a test book and the internet. To be honest some our kids have gotten academically lazy in high school. I’d like to blame the school environment but the truth is blame lies in the heart of the lazy kids.
Homeschooling middle school gave me more time with my growing kids than I would have otherwise had. That was special and I am glad I was able to have that opportunity. I have one more child in middle school. At the end of next year I will be done.
The opportunity for an extended childhood, to learn to work with and talk to adults, to have their service matter, these where unexpected and welcome advantages the kids experienced while homeschooled in middle school.
Also, their verbiage was cleaner then their bedrooms. If you have ever heard middle schoolers talking among themselves when they thought there were no adults around, you know how unique that is.
What about you, have you tried homeschool? Can you imagine doing so someday? What unexpected advantages did your kids experience as they went through middle school ?
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Reader Comments (6)
Very interesting! I've heard a lot of people say that they'd consider bringing their kids home during middle school to homeschool, but I don't know anyone who has actually done that and then put them back at high school. Sounds like it worked great for you. We have homeschooled all the way through except that our oldest went to PS for K and 1. He is in 10th grade now and we're homeschooling and he's doing classes at the local community college.
Sounds like homeschooling has been great for your kids and family. I have several friends that are planning to homeschool, as it seems to be more popular an option here in Northern California. When I grew up, I did not know any other children that were in a homeschool program. I've got to hand it to you, for your organization and determination with homeschooling. I don't know if I would be able to stay organized and focused for the kids. Seems that you need to carve our school time and put everything else around the house on hold. Our family is in the process of researching Kindergarten for our daughter and never even thought about homeschooling. I guess, I worry about the socialization in Kindergarten for her
We homeschool (ok, I go to work, my wife homeschools our 4 children - she's amazing). We did send our oldest (10 year old) to K but moved out to the country and did not like our public school options.
We've talked about sending them to high school but we're playing that by ear when we get there. However, I agree with you about the advantages of middle school and we plan on homeschooling through those years.
I'm not worried about them adjusting to high school or college. They get plenty of socializing in various co-op groups, sports leagues, church, etc...
I'm sure homeschooling is not for everyone. I think it's a calling in a way. My wife has always wanted to do it but even she gets overwhelmed when it's her passion.
My experience is that Scott is right - other things around the house do get put on hold - but it's the choice you make.
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Homeschooling young ones does mean other things slide from time to time. Since mine were older, I could get some house work done while they were doing school. Plus since they didn't have homework after school time, they could help out at home and still participate in sports/music/church activities AND have some much needed down time.
For anyone interested: How to Homeschool: A Practical Approach (Paperback)
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We have homeschooled for 21 years and we have had a similar experience with our children during and after their middle school years. But getting the academics done during high school was a challenge with several of our children. There was not enough acountability (my fault). I never felt like they had done enough to be ready for college, but in spite of my feelings, 4 of the 5 have gone to college and done exceptionally well. They are all leaders and good students. The 5th child is still in high school.
Julie