Caffeine Intake Systems
Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 12:00AM
Carol Taber in blogging, humor

Caffeine in one form or another is most likely the most used stimulate the world over. (I cannot prove this statement but if enough people insist that something is true, what they insistence on comes to be perceived as being empirically true and therefore needs no objective proof. It works for evolution, so it will work for the truth of caffeine ingestion.). There are various way to introduce this stimulate into the human body. I would like to briefly consider the two most common methods, those being hot and cold liquids and why one system is empirically better.

The serious of this situation was force into my consciences while staying with an unnamed source for the week. This household while abounding in cold caffeine, to wit: Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi. (A divided yet amazing peaceful household. It should be noted that caffeine use was strictly limited to those over 21.) had no viable in-house hot production system. The equipment for producing hot liquids was available but the necessity preproduction raw materials was lacking. Had I asked for or purchase said material (here after called coffee), the needed material would no doubt have been supplied. However great thoughts require living in deprivation for a period in order to crystallize said thoughts (think Thoreau living in Walden woods). Besides, I didn’t think to ask or buy so I suffered for my convictions.

As everyone intelligent person of refined taste should realize, warm/hot is better than cold when consuming eatables. As with evolution, the nitpickers will go right for the exceptions. What about ice cream and what about green salads? To that, moderately wise people reply: What about fried ice cream and I don’t like salad. Wiser people pooh-pooh the objections as foolishness (How can you object to what is empirically true) and continue on their merry way.

Cold soda hitting the stomach first thing in the morning feels like swallowing an ice burg. The shock of the cold can as to awake fingers struggling to bring the can to the lips is unpleasant. Coffee is gentle, its heat emanating from the mug warning the hands as the liquid warms the soul. The bitterness awakes the mind to face the new dawn. The sugary sweetness (real or of a synthetic nature) of soda startles rather than awakens.

Both are excellent intake systems. It is just (I know that some will disagree but truth must out) one is civilized and one is not. Since this is an objective thesis on the subject, I will not reveal my preference. For the sake of intellectual honesty, I am conducting a poll similar to the unbiased political polls I am reading in the newspaper. This poll will prove that we all know is true.

Please leave your answer in a comment:

If you have to choose today, which caffeine intake system would you opt for: the soul warming, gentle stimulation of coffee, or the mind jarring, system shattering of soda?

Article originally appeared on A Second Cup (http://asecondcup.squarespace.com/).
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