Aging With Adventure:Would You Dance Naked Around The House?

I was taking a shower and realized I didn’t have a towel nearby. With a quick scan of the room I realized there were no clean towels within grabbing range.  Grumbling that I would have to put my clothes back on to get a towel, I had a further realization: There was no one home! I could walk, dash, rumba, strut, cartwheel (or not) down to the laundry room with or without clothes to get my towel because there were no kids around to shock.

There are turning points in release from being a 24/7 mommy, always having to consider the effects of my behavior on a younger person in my care, to being able to make decisions independent of being someone’s mom. The first one I remember was then all the kids were toilet trained. Not more toting a small suitcase with me everywhere I went. We could jump in the car with less planning, less lugging, more spontaneity.

The next big return to personal independence came when Haggai was about 13. No more babysitters! He was mature enough to leave the younger kids in his care when my husband and I wanted to go out. The younger kids were old enough to rat him out if he abused his powers over them. We both love being parents but it was a revelation to us to have the freedom to be “we” sometimes instead of always “us”. (We did pay him.)

There was a setback in our freedom as both Princess and Haggai developed active social lives and were no longer readily available to babysit their younger brother and sister. Ichabod was too old for a babysitter and not mature enough to deal with the taunting of Tech Princess, so we were back to parent mode until they both matured and we were relatively certain we would not come home to WWIII if we left them home alone together.

As each child had gotten his or her license, I have a greater degree of time to pursue my own interests.  The transition to this freed up time has not always been welcome. I kinda miss my older kids.

As I considered the multitude of options I had in getting that much needed towel I didn’t have to consider anyone else but myself in how I would go about that minor task. 

The transition from us to we or I as the kids grow up has me rethinking how I do to some of the most basic things that make up a life. What is value of time, when time, money and effort are no long centered on raising children? What does a post child raising marriage look like?

I danced to the tune in my head as I retrieved a towel......

How do you envision a post raising children life and marriage? If you are at this stage of marriage what have you enjoyed most about this time in life?