Parenting Teens: A Few Things I have Learned From My Kids

1) Guinea pigs can indeed be neutered

2) The kids can go sledding for hours in the snow with no boots or real winter coats or wearing a hat and not get sick.

3) Poutine is not a dirty word. Canadians will not be surprised that this is so

4) It is possible to carry on several conversations, employing a multitude of medias and keep up with them all as long as a parent is not trying to communicate with said teen at the same time.

5) Love grows.

What have you learned from your kids?

Parenting Semi-Adults: Mom I Got Carded

I was a little surprised when my 19 year old told me she has been carded. She doesn't drink or hang out in bars so I was a wee bit confused as to where this carding could have occurred.

At the mall…on Friday night! It turns out, you are not allowed in the mall on Thursday, Friday or Saturday after 5PM if you are under 18 unless you are accompanied by an adult.

Hence the carding…

         Honestly I sort of think it is a wise policy.

My 17 year old smuggly pointed out that he has not been carded.....hmmmmmm

What do you think about the mall's policy ?

You can still comment for a change to win an iPod Touch here!!! Contest ends the 22nd, don't delay!

Parenting Semi-Adults: Windows VS Mac

You can still comment for a change to win an iPod Touch here!!! Contest ends the 22nd, don't delay!

Then and only then check out Pensive ,Octamom,  Viv's Cool Mom's Reviews and My Own Circle of Confusion for more chances to win.

I am looking for a laptop. My family is divided: one is of Mac, the other is of Windows. Each vows never to help me again if I purchase a laptop with the offending operating system.

The one of Mac is moving out next year. The defender of Windows is home for another 4 year. I will have to buy a laptop with Windows. For me this is not a question of which is the better operating system. This is strictly a political decision. With whom is the better alliance? Windows wins because the Mac lover does not want to live at home just in case I need help.

Anyone want to recommend a reliable laptop that runs Windows?

Parenting In The Real World: Taming the Greedies Part 2

These are some suggestions to help tame the greedies and help children develop a content heart during the Christmas season. I haven’t used all of them with my kids and you won’t want to either. I hope these ideas get you thinking about the goal of raising content children and what you and your spouse will do, during the holidays, to help your child develop that character trait.

Shift the focus of the Christmas celebration away from gift receiving. Your kids will focus on getting presents without any further encouragement from you. Some ideas for shifting focus:

Expand the season beyond Christmas morning. Make it a tradition to make decorations, cookies, cards or easy gifts before Christmas day with your child. Talk about why you are making these things and the pleasure they will bring to others. Go light hunting, have an open house, visit a living Nativity, go to a Christmas parade…..plan other special events in addition to gift receiving your child will enjoy.

Teach them the Christmas accounts from Matthew and Luke. Teaching is not just reading the Christmas accounts on Christmas Eve. It could involve reading the Christmas accounts and letting them act it out with a child safe nativity set. Talk about the reason we celebrate Christmas as you pass yet another Santa in the stores. Watch the “Little Drummer Boy” or “A Charlie Brown Christmas “with them. Down play the feel good but have little to do with Christmas “special” that abound this time of year. Ask questions about the Matthew and Luke accounts through out the season.

Sing religious Christmas Carols in addition to holiday songs with your kids. Talk about the meaning of the words they are singing.

Turn off the T.V. or limit T.V. viewing. Commercials feed the greedies. Allow children to look through catalogs in November to get ideas for their lists. Hide the ones you want to order from. Throw out everything else right away. It is amazing how much a child can desire a toy he didn’t know existed 5 minutes ago.

Make Christmas lists early. Lists are not much help with preschools but they are useful in taming the greedies in school age children. Our kid's lists where done by mid November and posted on the refrigerator. Nothing could be added after Thanksgiving Day.

Teach children to state preferences as preferences not demands. “I want”, “Get me ….., “. “ Can I have…..” not acceptable: period. If a child wants to communicate a preference for a certain gift not on the list, “I am interested in…..” allows a child to state a preference without the expectation that you must get what they ask for.

Participate in an Angle tree gift with your child. If your church or school does a food drive, help older children earn some money to buy canned good they can place in the collection basket. Again talk about why they are giving food to those who need it this time of year.

More anazingly insightful suggestions tomorrow. Please share your own in a comment!

Parenting In The Real World: Taming the Greedies Part 1

Tis the season to be greedy…. fa-la-la-la, la-la-la. A common parental lament even among preschool parents is how demanding their children become at the end of the year. With two major faiths having gift giving traditions in December children are quickly trained to expect a mother load of goodies at year’s end. If our kids don’t have long enough lists or extravantent enough gift dreams, television and retail marketing step in to encourage higher and high expectations. We are way beyond visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads. To complicate matters, competitive grandparenting is raised to the level of an Olympic contest, the prize not a gold medal and millions in revenue but the golden glow of a 4 year old’s affection and delight.

Christmas time brings to the fore a challege faced by all discerning parents: how to raise content children in a materialistic society. Parents who do not celebrate Christmas have to face the overwhelming barrage of Christmas hype. Parents who celebrate Christmas endure the hype, plus their children’s and extended families’ expectations of what the perfect Christmas should be. Perfect usually includes lots and lots of stuff, preferably gifted wrapped. What is a parent to do?

In terms of child training, Christmas is just an extended time of contentment training. Kids learn to be happy and content with what they have when they aren’t expecting more and more. That means setting limits and saying no often. The best time to figure out the principles that guide parental decisions about buying stuff for the kids or the amount of stuff they may receive from others is before the Christmas season. Having those principles in place frees parents to respond to the seasonal sales and gift hype based on how best to teach children to be content, rather than impulse or guilt. A peaceful holiday season with happy kids Christmas morning is a beautiful thing.