Parenting In the Real World: Taming the Greedies Part 3

If you don’t regularly attend, consider taking the kids to church through out the season, not just on Christmas Day. Talk about the connection between why we go to church and why we celebrate Christmas.

Limit gift receiving. This is tough. If you train a 3 year old to expect everything they ask for, you will have a 9 year old too jaded to appreciate what she receives and you will go broke trying to please a teenager. Some families limited gifts by number, which works well if you have more than one preschool child. Some limit gift receiving by budget amounts. This works better with older children. If grandparents flood your child with gifts one easy way to limit gifts, especially if you have younger children is not to buy any yourself. Younger kids are not going to remember who gave them what. If grandparents are visiting and are over generous gift givers, you could suggest they give experiences instead of too many toys. Trips to the museums (perhaps with a family membership that can be enjoyed all year), the park, the ice cream store, McDonalds, the movies, the bookstore, all create special memories that will out last most any toy grandma purchases.

Buy toys with high play value. Anything with batteries, except remote control cars which are really cool, are not going to be played with much in a few months. Plus the cost of batteries adds up. Dolls, books, art supplies, building toys, cars track, action figures, quality videos, classic games like Uno, Candyland, Shoots and Ladders, swing sets, balls, riding toys, dress up clothes, sports stuff, the less a toy does for a child, the more a child needs to manipulate it, the more long term play value it seems to have. I always informed my kids early in the season that I was not going to go crazy trying to find popular but difficult to find toys. Santa wasn’t going to go crazy either. Don’t even put it on the list. Teaching children to be content means teaching them their desires don’t justify driving others, including mom, crazy. I had a friend got up at 4 am to drive to another state to a toy store rumored to be getting in the “must have” toy of the season. She did it because she said not having that toy would “ruin his Christmas.” Bah humbug! If your child’s Christmas is “ruined” because he doesn’t receive one particular present among all he does receive, you have spoiled that child and you better start contentment training now.

Take your time opening gifts. Some suggestions: One family member at a time opens a gift while everyone else watches or every family member opens one gift each at the same time. This includes the adults. You want to give your child time to appreciate each individual gift and to grow to understand other people enjoy getting stuff also. You want them to grow to understand they can be part of someone else’s pleasure.

I love watching my kids open their Christmas presents. I look forward to the quite hours Christmas afternoon when contented children are off playing with their gifts. I also love not fearing the next credit card bill arriving, not having run myself ragged looking for the “must have” toy that has limited play value or having demanding children disappointed because I have not preformed up their expectations.

After all…tis the season to be jolly……

Please share anything you do/did that would be of help to other parents in a comment.

Parenting In The Real World: Taming the Greedies Part 2

These are some suggestions to help tame the greedies and help children develop a content heart during the Christmas season. I haven’t used all of them with my kids and you won’t want to either. I hope these ideas get you thinking about the goal of raising content children and what you and your spouse will do, during the holidays, to help your child develop that character trait.

Shift the focus of the Christmas celebration away from gift receiving. Your kids will focus on getting presents without any further encouragement from you. Some ideas for shifting focus:

Expand the season beyond Christmas morning. Make it a tradition to make decorations, cookies, cards or easy gifts before Christmas day with your child. Talk about why you are making these things and the pleasure they will bring to others. Go light hunting, have an open house, visit a living Nativity, go to a Christmas parade…..plan other special events in addition to gift receiving your child will enjoy.

Teach them the Christmas accounts from Matthew and Luke. Teaching is not just reading the Christmas accounts on Christmas Eve. It could involve reading the Christmas accounts and letting them act it out with a child safe nativity set. Talk about the reason we celebrate Christmas as you pass yet another Santa in the stores. Watch the “Little Drummer Boy” or “A Charlie Brown Christmas “with them. Down play the feel good but have little to do with Christmas “special” that abound this time of year. Ask questions about the Matthew and Luke accounts through out the season.

Sing religious Christmas Carols in addition to holiday songs with your kids. Talk about the meaning of the words they are singing.

Turn off the T.V. or limit T.V. viewing. Commercials feed the greedies. Allow children to look through catalogs in November to get ideas for their lists. Hide the ones you want to order from. Throw out everything else right away. It is amazing how much a child can desire a toy he didn’t know existed 5 minutes ago.

Make Christmas lists early. Lists are not much help with preschools but they are useful in taming the greedies in school age children. Our kid's lists where done by mid November and posted on the refrigerator. Nothing could be added after Thanksgiving Day.

Teach children to state preferences as preferences not demands. “I want”, “Get me ….., “. “ Can I have…..” not acceptable: period. If a child wants to communicate a preference for a certain gift not on the list, “I am interested in…..” allows a child to state a preference without the expectation that you must get what they ask for.

Participate in an Angle tree gift with your child. If your church or school does a food drive, help older children earn some money to buy canned good they can place in the collection basket. Again talk about why they are giving food to those who need it this time of year.

More anazingly insightful suggestions tomorrow. Please share your own in a comment!